Sunday, November 8, 2009

Top 5 Whiny Mecha Pilots

Piloting a giant robot mecha is the absolute best, right?

Not if you ask these guys.

Someone should sit them down, slap 'em around, and teach 'em how to truly appreciate their sweet rides. Until then, we'll just list our Top 5 Whiny Mecha Pilots:

#5 - Simon (Gurren Lagann)

No one likes a peeping tom, Simon. If you hadn’t spied on Yoko smooching Kamina, maybe you wouldn’t have left your “Big Bro” high and dry in your fight against Lordgenome.

#4 - Quatre Reberba Winner (Gundam Wing)

Of all the Gundam Wing pilots, Quatre was Mr. Softy, allowing his enemies to surrender before battle and apologizing afterwards to the cannon fodder who didn’t. Peace, peace, peace was his mantra. But then he goes off with the Gundam Wing Zero prototype and starts blowing up entire space colonies. Way to practice what you preach, Q.

#3 - Renton Thurston (Eureka Seven)

When we first meet Renton, he complains how everything in his life suuuucks. So does his attitude. (We’d give anything to have a hoverboard like Marty McFly.) Things don't get better when Renton joins the crew of Gekkostate and pilots the Nirvash mecha. Our boy becomes bootlicker, chump, and way too infatuated with lovely co-pilot Eureka. Give the girl some space--that's dude dating rule #2. Speaking of #2 . . .

#2 - Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Every hero needs a battle cry. “I mustn’t run away I mustn’t run away” doesn’t quite cut it. Actually Shinji, please do hit the road. And take your daddy issues with you.

#1 - Amuro Ray (Mobile Suit Gundam)
The original Gundam was revolutionary for its time--breaking away from the cheesy "super-robot" genre in the '70s. Still, the show is guilty of creating the whiny pilot anime archetype. Amuro was the pioneer boy pilot bellyacher, and that ain't something you want on your resume.

Who'd we miss? Who's whinier?

Share your sissies below!

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