Top 5 Anime That Should Air on Cartoon Network/Adult Swim

Didja hear the news? Cartoon Network's Adult Swim may be showing THREE new anime shows in the near future! Whee!

(Our guess is the same as everyone else: 1) Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, 2) InuYasha: Final Act, and 3) Who knows?)

We'll find out soon enough, probably through those snarky bumper messages. But just for fun's sake, here are our

Top 5 Anime That Should Air on Cartoon Network/Adult Swim

Everyone can dream, right?

#5 - Gun Sword

It looks like Cowboy Bebop crossed with Trigun. And most episodes follow the Big O model of finish the show via giant robot fight. Plus, Gun Sword's creators are the same folks who did Code Geass. Cartoon Network aired all of those shows to death, so why not bring in this one, too?

#4 - Patlabor--The Mobile Police

It's like NYPD Blue with giant robots. And no Dennis Franz.

If you're shooting for quantity, you can't go wrong with Patlabor. Not only is the TV series over 45 episodes long, you also get two OAV series and three movies to fill up the time. Ghost in the Shell's Mamoru Oshii is one of the creators, too, so you know you're getting quality as well.

#3 - Azumanga Daioh

This show fits in with all of the dry goofiness of Adult Swim's American-made shows. And it's not that adult-y, either, so CN could even air it in Prime Time. Not too early, though, since you've gotta watch out for that creepy Mr. Kimura. But we're sure some male fans could relate.

#2 - His and Her Circumstances

Like Azumanga, but more serious and melancholy at times, and more zany and insane at other times (if that's possible). This show by Studio Gainax (FLCL, Evangelion) is the kind of anime that drives some viewers bonkers, which we're saying is a good thing. Teenage love has the same effect.

#1 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

The perfect prescription for anime newbie and jaded otaku alike, this show packs a punch in a small series, much like phenom FLCL. But Haruhi Suzumiya has more heart, more episodes, more seasons, and a movie to keep fans happy.

What would make US happy is seeing these shows on TV. Sure, these anime are available on DVD and such, but they deserve a wider audience.

C'mon CN/AS, give us some love.

And do us a favor by showing the entire end credits for Haruhi Suzumiya. Youtube is just not enough. Well . . . it's good for our weekly fix . . .

Top 5 Anime Resets

Happy New Year, everyone! Out with the old and in with the new. Or in the anime world, out with the old and in with the reset.

To honor the beginning of a fresh new year, we celebrate the

Top 5 Anime Resets.

Resets are those anime series-ending cataclysms that turn out to be . . . maybe not the ultimate demise of the world after all. Instead, the story culminates in a reboot, rewind, and/or revolutionary sort of resolution. It’s not over; it’s just begun. So let’s begin!

[Caution, newbies: Show spoilers ahead!]

#5 - Neon Genesis Evangelion/End of Evangelion

Probably the first show that comes to otaku minds when they think of reset endings. We’re talking about the extended “End of Evangelion” ending.

And talk about an ending. We don’t understand it, of course, but basically everyone explodes into orange marmalade while a giant Rei does her impression of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. One psychedelic trip later, we wake up with Shinji and Asuka (the latter with hints of Rei and Misato), in a bloody newborn world.

Our interpretation? The two teens are the next Adam and Eve, chosen to begin a new world—as long as they don’t kill each other.

#4 - Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Season 1)

This show’s version of a reset is different than what you typically expect. The last episode follows Togusa as he comes to terms with his colleagues’ apparent deaths and arrests following Section 9’s betrayal and blacklisting by corrupt officials. The most human and relatable of all Section 9 agents, Togusa decides he must continue to fight the good fight on his own.

But the next thing we know, Togusa finds the entire Section 9 team alive and well and back in “kick butt” commission. After revealing the top-secret plan to fake Section 9’s demise and appease the big wigs, the squad welcomes Togusa back and returns to their business of cyber anti-terrorism.

No universe-shattering conclusion here, but just as resolvingly jolting as the best of any anime reset.

#3 - Wolf’s Rain

In this unique apocalyptic fairytale, we witness the band of heroes fall one-by-one on their quest to “paradise.” Finally, lone survivor Kiba collapses on top of a snowy frozen lake.

Just when you think all hope is lost, springtime comes double-time: snow melts, Kiba’s body plunges into thawed water, and flowers sprout up everywhere. Then we see a new world with all the heroes alive and well, if not quite what they used to be.

Makes you think the next time you see a wolf.

#2 - Rahxephon

This show by Studio Bones (Cowboy Bebop, Fullmetal Alchemist) follows the Evangelion model and makes it better. That includes the ending, too. We get a more definitive vision of the reset world. Fallen heroes are back and alive again, and better off for it too. Joyful families, marriages, kids, and world peace after a freaky wrestling match between mecha-merged Ayato and Quon.

The latter we could have done without, but if that’s what gets us to a happy world free of attacking blue-skinned atonal aliens, we’ll take it. Oh yeah, and we finally get the whole story behind that painting.

#1 - The Big O

The show must go on. And that’s exactly what happens after Roger’s final negotiation with the reality-controlling Angel. After the screen goes all white, we witness a familiar scene and narration as Roger drives his Griffon to another negotiation. In fact, it’s the same sequence as the very beginning of the show’s first episode.

But not exactly identical. Two changes: Roger no longer wears his wristwatch that calls Big O; and Angel and R. Dorothy smile as they watch their hero drive by. What’s next? That’s up to the viewer (and many discussion board forums). And the ambiguousness is one of the best parts of anime.

Can’t handle ambiguousness?

Then click on the following links for different viewers’ interpretations of the show endings. More importantly, decide for yourself!

End of Evangelion

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Season 1)--Actually, it’s not that complex. So check out the first Ghost in the Shell movie—if you’re older than 17—then review trivia and the summary here.

Wolf’s Rain

Rahxephon

The Big O

Now wasn’t that refreshing? Easier than resetting the VCR. Yes, we still have one of those. Maybe 2010 will bring Tivo.

Until then, our New Years resolution is to eat more pocky!

Top 5 Anime That Make You Cry Like a Baby

Last month was all mecha pilots, all the time. While we love the mecha/giant robot anime genre, we like all kinds of anime. So just to show that we’ve got a sensitive side and aren’t just a bunch of mecha-heads, here are our Top 5

ANIME THAT MAKE YOU CRY LIKE A BABY

[Caution: Spoilers and soiled Kleenex ahead!]

#5 - Grave of the Fireflies (Motion Picture)

No shocker here: Both kids die. Not your regular fanfare from cuddly Studio Ghibli. But even though we know what happens to the kids from the very first sequence, it doesn’t ease the pain. Our hearts fall into pieces as we observe the slow, starving demise of this brother-sister pair in post-WW II Japan. We echo Roger Ebert in recommending this film for all war movie fans—and all film fans with a heart.

#4 - Wolf’s Rain (Episodes 27-30)

Fun fact #1: Wolf’s Rain was originally planned for a standard 26-episode run. That was before the Asian bird flu epidemic near the turn of the century interrupted production schedule. With deadlines looming, the folks at Studio Bones had to whip up a record four recap episodes to act as fillers throughout the show. Following the unresolved ending of episode 26, the creators eventually got things together to tie up the story with an additional quartet of shows.

But after watching them, your tear-stained eyes may regret it. As the heroes (wolf and human) near the sought-after “paradise,” they each fall one-by-one in assorted tragic ways, showing the coldness and cruelty of a dying world. Even the ultimate triumph is bittersweet, as the taint of evil remains in the reborn world. Yoko Kanno’s melodic score only adds to the melancholic tale.

#3 - Trigun (Episode 24, “Sin”)

No anime does a better job of steadily transitioning between goofy episodic adventures to a heart-wrenching odyssey for redemption. Vash the Stampede is more than a lucky humanoid typhoon. He’s a tortured sole who’s vowed to never take a life. But our hero must cross that line near the story’s end, when Vash must choose between letting his friends die or saving them by killing the sadistic Legato. Trust us, V. You made the right decision.

#2 - Cowboy Bebop (Episode 24, “Hard Luck Woman”)

We’ve seen hints of Faye’s past in previous episodes, but we (and she) learn much more about her complicated story in this one. After meeting an “old” friend in her childhood neighborhood, Faye runs to the top of a familiar hill longing to find her family home. But what she discovers leaves her (and viewers) breathless.

#1 - Voices of a Distant Star (OVA)

Nothing opens the floodgates like teenage love. In this case, we’re talking long distance (and diverging chronological) relationships. Mix in a little mecha action and you’ve got gold.

Fun fact #2: Creator Makoto Shinkai made this masterpiece entirely on his Macintosh computer. (Take that, PC!) Just goes to show that a great story doesn’t need to be a multi-staffed and multi-million dollar production.

Beyond the teenage melodrama, Voices also uses the physics of space travel to add depth and reality to the tale of our forlorn pair. So it’s not just a good love story; it’s a science lesson too. Suck, it up, crybabies.

Okay everyone, hanky time.

Top 5 Babe Mecha Pilots

Capping off our month-long feature of mecha pilots, we turn our attention to the fairer sex—the

Top 5 Babe Mecha Pilots:

#5 - Karen Joshua

(Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team)

Master Chief Petty Officer Karen Joshua is the 08th MS Team’s second-in-command and one tough lady. Don’t tick her off on the battlefield. Karen used to be a medical student, though, so she can tend to your wounds after she punches your lights out.

#4 - Asuka Langley Soryu

(Neon Genesis Evangelion)

A lot of attention goes to that other female Eva pilot—Rei Ayanami. But we’ll pick a feisty redhead over a waify albino girl any day. No Freudian mother issues to deal with, either.

#3 - Kallen Stadtfeld/Kouzuki

(Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion)

In a show of strangely skinny and oblong character designs, mecha pilot Kallen never fails to be babe-iful. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the animators seem to put her in the most compromising positions whenever she plops into her Guren-Mk II’s cockpit.


#2 - Yoko Littner

(Gurren Lagann)

Sure, Yoko bounces around in a bikini top and lugs a ginormous sniper rifle when she’s not piloting her Dayakkaiser mecha. But she’s just as skilled in a classroom full of elementary kids. Cue Van Halen, cuz we’re hot for teacher.

That’s four redheads in a row. Time for a new color. (And some much needed modesty, which to be honest, ladies, goes a lot farther with us.)

#1 - Miriya Parina Sterling (Robotech: Macross)

When we first meet Miriya, she’s the finest combat pilot in all the Zentraedi forces—and a giant alien. If that’s not cool enough, she tried to kill her future husband Max with a knife. And she can play video games. Bonus.
Miriya even takes her infant daughter Dana along in her Veritech cockpit when fighting the bad guys. Not exactly mother of the year material, but definitely proof that Miriya is a woman among girls in the Babe Mecha Pilot category.

That’s our list, showing that gals are just as skilled as the guys in mecha pilot mastery. And much easier on the eyes.

Susan B. Anthony would be proud.

Top 5 Angstiest Mecha Pilots

Almost as common as whiny boy mecha pilots—and just as annoying—here we have our

Top 5 Angstiest Mecha Pilots:

#5 – Van Fanel (The Vision of Escaflowne)

We actually like Van and his excellent mecha/fantasy mixture of a show. But don’t forget to mention a mix of romance, too; otherwise, you’ll be sorely disappointed if expecting an all-out action show. Van’s heart slowly gets warmed by schoolgirl Hitomi, but it takes some time, since he has to overcome a backstabbing brother, two dead parents, and a pair of foppish fairy wings.

#4 – Setsuna F Seiei (Gundam 00)

Setsuna was a prepubescent guerilla fighter before he plopped into the cush job of Gundam pilot. Unfortunately, one never outgrows a childhood of urban warfare and a brainwashed execution of your own parents. No wonder Setsuna’s no fan of diplomacy. Good thing he’s a Gundam pilot.

#3 – Viral (Gurren Lagann)

All Viral wants is to get married and have some kids. But he’s also a bad guy who gets his bootie kicked by the human heroes. Still, Viral gets a second chance and bailed out of the slammer to help Simon’s ragtag bunch fight the impossible war against the Anti-Spirals. The enemy of my enemy . . . means you’re one lucky duck, Viral.

#2 – Heero Yuy (Gundam Wing)

We don’t know Heero’s real name—he’s just an orphan picked for combat and named after a matyred colony leader. Same name, different methods. Heero spearheads Operation Meteor to start the whole Earth/Colonies War. And when he first meets future love interest and heart warmer Relena, what are his first words? “I’ll kill you.” Not exactly our first choice for a pick-up line.

#1 – Lelouch Lamperouge/Zero (Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion)

Lelouch is angst king—royal blood and everything. This private school brat’s estranged pop is oppressive Britannia Emperor Charles, who’s not too sad about killing his wife—little Lelouch’s mom. So what does Lelouch do? Acquires some mind-controlling powers, starts up a mecha army and begins his own conquest of nations. The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, does it?

That’s our Top 5 list of angry, arrogant, and antisocial teen pilots. Somebody give ‘em a hug.

Top 5 Coolest Mecha Pilots

Last time featured the well-known "whiny mecha pilot" anime archetype. Now let's do a complete 180-turn and focus on something much better--the

Top 5 Coolest Mecha Pilots.

These are the guys we WANT to be; the fact they pilot a giant robot is just icing on the cake!

#5 - Kamina (Gurren Lagann)

Not everyone can lead a stampeding herd of mole-pigs to the top of their underground city's roof. And not everyone has a city named in their honor, either. Of course, not too many folks use the catchphrase, "Who the hell do you think I am?!" We'd list Kamina higher on the cool list, but not until he puts a shirt on.

#4 - Van (Gun x Sword)

It helps that Van looks a lot like Cowboy Bebop's own Spike Spiegel (perhaps the coolest anime character ever). Van makes his own fashion statement though, wearing a swallowtail tuxedo and droopy Stetson-style hat. His coolest accessory is his shape-memory cloth "sword," but Van is usually more interested in dousing his meals with mixed sauces. Maybe his wardrobe should come with a condiment belt.

#3 - Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing)

In a show full of pretty boy pilots in need of Prozac, Duo sticks out as the stud who smiles while he wipes out mecha armies with his Deathscythe Gundam. Who knew a "god of death" could be so fun?

#2 - Max Sterling (Robotech: Macross)

Max is living the dream. He's an ace Veritech fighter pilot for the SDF-1, and that's not the best part. Max makes our list because he snagged his hot alien wife by first defeating her at a video arcade game, then out-dueling her in a knife fight. Mrs. Miriya Sterling then becomes his wingmate, fighting beside Max in her very own Veritech fighter. Just keep an eye on that girl in the kitchen.

#1 - Roger Smith (The Big O)

Comic books have Batman, and anime has Roger Smith, Paradigm City's Negotiator. Like Bruce Wayne, Roger has his wide array of gadgetry: grappling hook-shooting wristwatch, rocket-launching Griffon sedan, memory metal lock-pick, and more. But instead of donning cape and cowl, Roger jumps into the cockpit of his giant megadeus Big O to fight giant-sized mecha crime. And in place of Boy Wonder Robin, Roger's sidekick is the cute sardonic android R. Dorothy Wayneright. "It's Showtime!"

And it's go time! Stay cool, everyone.

Top 5 Whiny Mecha Pilots

Piloting a giant robot mecha is the absolute best, right?

Not if you ask these guys.

Someone should sit them down, slap 'em around, and teach 'em how to truly appreciate their sweet rides. Until then, we'll just list our Top 5 Whiny Mecha Pilots:

#5 - Simon (Gurren Lagann)

No one likes a peeping tom, Simon. If you hadn’t spied on Yoko smooching Kamina, maybe you wouldn’t have left your “Big Bro” high and dry in your fight against Lordgenome.

#4 - Quatre Reberba Winner (Gundam Wing)

Of all the Gundam Wing pilots, Quatre was Mr. Softy, allowing his enemies to surrender before battle and apologizing afterwards to the cannon fodder who didn’t. Peace, peace, peace was his mantra. But then he goes off with the Gundam Wing Zero prototype and starts blowing up entire space colonies. Way to practice what you preach, Q.

#3 - Renton Thurston (Eureka Seven)

When we first meet Renton, he complains how everything in his life suuuucks. So does his attitude. (We’d give anything to have a hoverboard like Marty McFly.) Things don't get better when Renton joins the crew of Gekkostate and pilots the Nirvash mecha. Our boy becomes bootlicker, chump, and way too infatuated with lovely co-pilot Eureka. Give the girl some space--that's dude dating rule #2. Speaking of #2 . . .

#2 - Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Every hero needs a battle cry. “I mustn’t run away I mustn’t run away” doesn’t quite cut it. Actually Shinji, please do hit the road. And take your daddy issues with you.

#1 - Amuro Ray (Mobile Suit Gundam)

The original Gundam was revolutionary for its time--breaking away from the cheesy "super-robot" genre in the '70s. Still, the show is guilty of creating the whiny pilot anime archetype. Amuro was the pioneer boy pilot bellyacher, and that ain't something you want on your resume.

Who'd we miss? Who's whinier?

Share your sissies below!