NOT the Top 5 Anime Movies

The Razzie Award Nominations are out for "Dis-honoring Hollywood's Worst" in movies of 2009 and the past decade. Check them out at HERE.

Until the winners (losers?) are announced, let's share our

NOT the Top 5 Anime Movies

We're not saying these are the worst Anime movies out there; just NOT the Top 5. (Nowhere close)

#5 - Tie--Escaflowne: The Movie

and

Rahxephon: Pluralitas Concentio

These two movies tie because they both take excellent TV series and leave us with a bad taste in our mouth.

Escaflowne's movie drops the chivalrous European fantasy flavor of the TV show and dons a more Asian/Eastern feel. The movie makers also overhauled character designs--making some almost unrecognizable--on its mission to make it more of an action flick rather than the fantasy mecha romance drama that made the series unique.

RahXephon's movie DOES provide additional exposition and explanation for some of the key character relationships and events. For that, we give it props. But it also tries to adult up the story by including an unnecessary sex scene. Even worse, the film creators commit the cardinal sin of anime movies based on television series--cramming 26 episodes of a show into 2 measly hours.

The creators call it an encore. But if that's what we get for applauding a series, then we should've just stayed in our seats.

#4 - Pom Poko

Far be it from us to criticize any production from Studio Ghibli (Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service), but we just can't stomach shape-shifting tanuki ("raccoon dogs") with their--ahem--"pouches" bouncing along while the hijinks abound.

There are much better movies by Ghibli (Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa) that entertain and inspire us to protect the environment. All Pom Poko does is beckon us to the garbage can.

#3 - Robotech II: The Sentinels

Robotech: Macross was a masterpiece of Americanized anime for 36 episodes. And in the mid-1980s, Harmony Gold tried to capitalize on the first Robotech series to make a brand new sequel series. The project lasted long enough to finish only 3 episodes, though, so the creators worked their mixmaster magic and out popped a feature-length film.

The movie is rather forgettable, as it shows an impending danger that never gets resolved in a couple of hours. But Sentinels does show us the wedding of star-crossed lovers Rick Hunter and Lisa Hayes, so for that we won't rank it worse. (You'll always have your music career, Lynn Minmei.)

#2 - Akira

We can hear the "boos" from otaku everywhere. Suck on your inhaler, boys. And rewatch the film and you'll notice that despite it's revolutionary impact on anime, Akira is not that great a movie.

Sure, it's got post-apocalyptic sci-fi action and a sweet motorcycle. But it's also got some hints of misogyny and tired techno-Rambo warfare. Plus, it's guilty of the cardinal sin for anime movies, this time by cramming 2,182 pages of manga into one movie. Out go several subplots and most of the manga's second half. And out goes any second viewing for us, unless Leonardo DiCaprio can ever get the live-action Akira off the ground. (Leo's just that dreamy.)

#1 - M.D. Geist

No controversy here. Every anime viewer knows this movie blows. M.D. Geist is an ultraviolent, poorly animated blend of Mad Max and Universal Soldier without the morality.

Somehow this movie inspired a sequel, which defied all laws of physics and sucked more than the original. The end result was an Akira-like black hole somewhere over Midtown Manhattan.

(Oh wait. That was licensor Central Park Media's bankruptcy.)

Time for a brain cleansing.

And next time we'll look at the Top 5 BEST Anime movies!

Top 5 Anime Resets

Happy New Year, everyone! Out with the old and in with the new. Or in the anime world, out with the old and in with the reset.

To honor the beginning of a fresh new year, we celebrate the

Top 5 Anime Resets.

Resets are those anime series-ending cataclysms that turn out to be . . . maybe not the ultimate demise of the world after all. Instead, the story culminates in a reboot, rewind, and/or revolutionary sort of resolution. It’s not over; it’s just begun. So let’s begin!

[Caution, newbies: Show spoilers ahead!]

#5 - Neon Genesis Evangelion/End of Evangelion

Probably the first show that comes to otaku minds when they think of reset endings. We’re talking about the extended “End of Evangelion” ending.

And talk about an ending. We don’t understand it, of course, but basically everyone explodes into orange marmalade while a giant Rei does her impression of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. One psychedelic trip later, we wake up with Shinji and Asuka (the latter with hints of Rei and Misato), in a bloody newborn world.

Our interpretation? The two teens are the next Adam and Eve, chosen to begin a new world—as long as they don’t kill each other.

#4 - Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Season 1)

This show’s version of a reset is different than what you typically expect. The last episode follows Togusa as he comes to terms with his colleagues’ apparent deaths and arrests following Section 9’s betrayal and blacklisting by corrupt officials. The most human and relatable of all Section 9 agents, Togusa decides he must continue to fight the good fight on his own.

But the next thing we know, Togusa finds the entire Section 9 team alive and well and back in “kick butt” commission. After revealing the top-secret plan to fake Section 9’s demise and appease the big wigs, the squad welcomes Togusa back and returns to their business of cyber anti-terrorism.

No universe-shattering conclusion here, but just as resolvingly jolting as the best of any anime reset.

#3 - Wolf’s Rain

In this unique apocalyptic fairytale, we witness the band of heroes fall one-by-one on their quest to “paradise.” Finally, lone survivor Kiba collapses on top of a snowy frozen lake.

Just when you think all hope is lost, springtime comes double-time: snow melts, Kiba’s body plunges into thawed water, and flowers sprout up everywhere. Then we see a new world with all the heroes alive and well, if not quite what they used to be.

Makes you think the next time you see a wolf.

#2 - Rahxephon

This show by Studio Bones (Cowboy Bebop, Fullmetal Alchemist) follows the Evangelion model and makes it better. That includes the ending, too. We get a more definitive vision of the reset world. Fallen heroes are back and alive again, and better off for it too. Joyful families, marriages, kids, and world peace after a freaky wrestling match between mecha-merged Ayato and Quon.

The latter we could have done without, but if that’s what gets us to a happy world free of attacking blue-skinned atonal aliens, we’ll take it. Oh yeah, and we finally get the whole story behind that painting.

#1 - The Big O

The show must go on. And that’s exactly what happens after Roger’s final negotiation with the reality-controlling Angel. After the screen goes all white, we witness a familiar scene and narration as Roger drives his Griffon to another negotiation. In fact, it’s the same sequence as the very beginning of the show’s first episode.

But not exactly identical. Two changes: Roger no longer wears his wristwatch that calls Big O; and Angel and R. Dorothy smile as they watch their hero drive by. What’s next? That’s up to the viewer (and many discussion board forums). And the ambiguousness is one of the best parts of anime.

Can’t handle ambiguousness?

Then click on the following links for different viewers’ interpretations of the show endings. More importantly, decide for yourself!

End of Evangelion

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Season 1)--Actually, it’s not that complex. So check out the first Ghost in the Shell movie—if you’re older than 17—then review trivia and the summary here.

Wolf’s Rain

Rahxephon

The Big O

Now wasn’t that refreshing? Easier than resetting the VCR. Yes, we still have one of those. Maybe 2010 will bring Tivo.

Until then, our New Years resolution is to eat more pocky!